One mom's moving story that will have you sayin' I GET TO do laundry
Tuesday, December 7, 2010 at 7:21AM 
I had the honor of meeting Denise Taylor, founder of We Get To and author of Heavenly Birth. A Mother's Journey. A Daughter's Legacy, at a women's conference in Dallas and completely moved by her courage and strength to celebrate and carry on her daughter's legacy. Denise is dedicated to sharing the powerful message, We Get To, three simple words that transformed their journey together in Jonnae's last few years. I wear the We Get To purple bracelet often and when I'm complaining about the kids, hubby, cleaning, blah, blah...I look at my bracelet, think of Denise and say, I GET TO.
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Driving home from work one day I was thinking to myself, "When will life slow down long enough for me to stop and smell the roses?" Less than 24 hours later I was sitting across from a pediatrician at her desk as she said to me, "Is there someone you can call? Is your husband able to come join you? Kosair Children's Hospital is waiting to directly admit your daughter. Don't bother to go to registration. Go straight to the oncology floor. We believe Jonnae has leukemia and she'll have a bone marrow aspiration and spinal tap in the morning to confirm. I know the doctors well. They will take very good care of her.
Jonnae was 12 years old. She had shown no indications of a child who was sick. Surprisingly I didn't panic. I didn't fall apart. Immediately I felt a presence embracing, guiding, and giving me a strength that was not of my own. An inner guidance 'whispered', "The only way to get through this is to focus on the positive. If there is only one very small good thing, even if it's surrounded by enormous and numerous bad things. Cling to the good!"
I had been a perfectionist my whole life. I always found that one thing that was wrong surrounded by good. The opposite of what I was being guided to do, I knew this was serious on every level. I couldn't just tell Jonnae how to get through it. I needed to show her, my whole family (my husband and I have had 5 children). But how?
I sought scripture, quotes, books, inspiring stories. I embraced anything and everything that might show me the way. Keeping gratitude journals where we challenged ourselves to enter five new things a day to be grateful for, repeating nothing that we had entered before, was probably the single most empowering practice we got into the habit of doing. To this day when I'm putting on mascara I smile as I'm aware of the gift they are. The gratitude muscles we acquired through keeping those journals led us to an awareness of the power of gratitude.
One day as Jonnae was getting sick in the bathroom from chemo she began to cry (not something she did very often) She said, "I hate this." That presence that was wiser and stronger than I am on my own spoke these words through me,"This is when we give thanks for chemo and say we GET to receive it." WHAT?
How could I expect her to give thanks for chemo and why was she not throwing me out of the bathroom? But together we were able to see how to be grateful for this medication that was making her sick and causing her to go bald.
There are people who are sick who can't figure out what's wrong with them. Not us, we GET to have a diagnosis and chemo.
There are people with a diagnosis but no cure. Not us, we have a hope for a cure and GET TO have chemo.
There are children in countries with no doctors or hospitals. Not us, we GET to have chemo right here at a childrens hospital close to home.
There are people with no insurance or way to get the medical care they need. Not us we GET to have chemo.
Within minutes we miraculously transformed from victims who were burdened by chemo to victors who were blessed because of it.
Jonnae passed away (experienced her "Heavenly Birth") after battling leukemia for 3 yrs in June of '08. As we were planning her funeral I kept hearing in my head, "I have to bury my child." Because of the gratitude practices I learned with Jonnae, the words 'have to' are not spoken or even thought without the want for them to be replaced with 'GET to'. But how could I GET TO bury my child. I prayed for an answer and this time received it immediately.
I heard that inner voice speak yet again. "You don't have to bury your daughter's body. You GET TO release her spirit into Heaven. And...you GET TO because you were the one chosen to be her mother. You GOT TO share an amazing bond with her that no one else did."
In an instant I went from being consumed with sorrow to being ready to celebrate the special place I had in her life and she had in mine. I wouldn't have traded places with anyone. Dr Seuss says, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." It happened that I was the one that got to be her mom and experience her amazing love and spirit up close. I was able to smile most of the day because of the awareness that gratitude brought.
There is no instance too large or too small for the words GET TO to transform the entire experience. It's as if we are sleepwalking through life complaining about blessings. If one truly embraces the wake up call of "get to" and the awareness it brings, we see there is nothing that we 'have to' do. Everything we GET to do is a part of life's experience. That one word has the power to change everything.
No more "I have to go to work" when you realize so many are jobless, without income, unhealthy and unable to work. It is a blessing to GET to. Same with practice, babysitting, homework, rush hour traffic, working out, cleaning house... I challenge you to listen to how many times you or someone you are conversing with complains with the words 'have to' about something someone else would love to GET to do.
We never know when that someone might be us.
Denise Taylor is an author, inspirational speaker and high-energy visionary. She navigates life owning and exemplifying her optimistic and hopeful message, moving countless people internationally to do the same. Click here for WE GET TO inspiration on facebook.
Reader Comments (6)
I also had the privilege of meeting Denise at that same conference, and I still get goosebumps when I think of her and the wonderful story she shared! I have her Purple Wristband embossed with "We Get To" on the gear shift of my car, to remind me every day to be grateful for what I have and to cherish every moment.
Thanks for sharing her story, Misty!
I had the great pleasure of learning about Denise and her organization in an email from Misty Gibbs' My Inspiration Lounge. I was immediately drawn to her story, and knew I had met another "enlightened" person. Another fabulous gift in my life. The thought of losing one of my children is absolutely unbearable. I know though, because of Denise and Jonnae's story, that turning even the most horrific and terrifying scenario around to find the gift is the key to enduring, and to healing.
Thank you Misty, for sharing Denise's story, and Denise, for sharing with so many your very personal journey.
Thank you ladies for sharing your connection with Denise and how she has inspired you. I believe her message should be heard far and wide which means Oprah or Ellen need to have her on! So many people could benefit from the WE GET TO message!
Thank you for your strength and inspiration.
-Susan
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