5 red flags you're dating a financial deadbeat

Wednesday

Mar172010

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 8:19AM

I had the great pleasure of having coffee with Manisha Thakor, author of A Modern Girl's Guide To Personal Finance and Get Financially Naked, How To Talk Money With Your Honey, a few weeks ago while in Houston. Her mission is to empower women with the financial information and resources they need to gain financial independence. A mission that is close to my heart and the reason why I created Get Money Savvy on My Inspiration Lounge.

The financial red flags Manisha warns us about are useful for those on the dating scene or in long-term relationships that might need a reality check about the finance-side of the relationship that are often ignored.

5 red flags you're dating a financial deadbeat

1. Does your sweetie always insist on picking up the check at a big dinner and/or throw down his or her credit card without even looking at the bill?

While this could be a sign of innate generosity – it could also be a red flag for someone who is trying to show off and is doing so by living beyond their means thanks to the “friendly” help of credit cards. My experience has been that financially fit individuals – no matter how much or how little money they have – take the time to review bills before paying for them. A cavalier attitude towards that dinner bill may be an indication of a cavalier attitude towards money in general.

2. Does your sweetie have a large but sparsely furnished apartment / home?

While it’s possible that your sweetie is just waiting for his or her “personal design sensibility” to present itself… more likely than not it’s a red financial flag that you’ve got a case of what’s called down in Texas “Big Hat, No Cattle.” A phrase made popular in the wonderful book THE MILLIONAIRE NEXT DOOR, it highlights a sad but true phenomenon. In today’s credit driven society, the guy with the big house or flashy car OR the gal with the four-digit handbag and the three-digit stilettos may well be presenting an exterior image that bears no resemblance to their true economic reality.

3. Does your sweetie avoid answering calls on his or her phone?

It’s possible it’s just mom checking in to see how the day is going… but then again, it’s also possible that it’s bill collectors calling to find out when your sweetie is going to make good on that car payment, mortgage, credit card or other outstanding debts.

4. Does your sweetie lease his or her car?

Think about it, what’s the sales pitch for leasing – it’s “hey you can get more car for less money than if you buy outright!” As one of my all time favorite financial gurus, Dave Ramsey says, it should be called “fleecing” not leasing. In financial matters, when it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

5. Does your sweetie ask you to co-sign or buy things in your name, and promising to pay you back? Baring a life or death emergency, why would a financially responsible person ever ask their significant other to do this? This may be the clearest sign of all that something smells fishy… and it’s not the dinner you had last night!

For read more about Manisha Thakor click here to visit her site or say hi on twitter!

**************************

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Misty Gibbs |

9 Comments |

Money saving ideas,

Relationship Advice

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Reader Comments (9)

Look at it from this point of view:

1. What is the frequency of these expensive dinners? It seems like the gentleman thing to do to pay for an expensive dinner which does not happen too often.

2. I don't need much furniture - several large bookcases, an oversized desk to hold my large monitors, as well as provide plenty of workspace, a couch on which to read books and a large bed. This is all the furniture I poses, which is all made from quality solid wood, which can last for decades, if not centuries if taken care of. Living with quality furniture, though less of it, can show that you know how to spend your money.

3. Since I travel, cell phone carrier, etc, send me electronic bills and e-mails when something needs to be taken care of. Welcome to the 21st century, now adapt.

4. Leasing is fantastic for the professional who is always on the road. Am I in town for 1 year working on a project? Yes! Then I will lease a car here for 1 year...or perhaps even rent one for the entire year. Look at things from a different point of view. Leasing works for some, not all.

5. I agree, do not do this.

March 17, 2010 |

piccolos

Hi Piccolos!

Thanks for your comment! I would take this advice with the ladies you date! They are just things to look out for before taking the big step so you can protect everything you have worked hard for... Believe me I know - I am married to a spender :)

Cheers! Misty

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